


Life Is a Risk But I Will Take It

by Fruddles_Writing



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Carrie Wilson Redemption, Carrie is actually a decent person, F/F, F/M, Luke owns a couch, M/M, They get frozen yogurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fruddles_Writing/pseuds/Fruddles_Writing
Summary: Carrie begins to regret what she's done and she works on bridging the gap between her, Julie, and Flynn. Not only does she want to make up with Julie, she's also had a crush on Flynn for more than a year now, and denying it has only made it grow. Sort of Carrie centered, but it does switch to Julie and Luke's perspectives throughout the story.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn & Julie Molina & Carrie Wilson, Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	1. I'll Gather My Courage For You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is not my first time writing a fanfiction but it's my first time uploading one. So I thank my great friends who encouraged me to upload this story! I hope you enjoy!

Carrie sat at her kitchen table, her glowing pink and black computer in front of her. She sighed. Julie’s video had two and a half  _ million  _ views. It had only been two weeks, and yet her band had blown up. 

Carrie wasn’t jealous, or mad. No, she wasn’t really sure what she was feeling. 

_ That’s a lie and you know it.  _

That song had been stuck in her head ever since she’d heard it. She’d been listening to it on repeat for the past two weeks. She just liked the song. It was filled with emotion. It had  _ depth,  _ something she used to strive for in her songs. Now she just wrote silly pop songs and hoped the members of Dirty Candy liked it. They’d been so nice to her, even when she was an absolute jerk. 

Carrie opened a new tab, moving slightly to the rhythm of Julie’s song. 

_ That voice.  _

Carrie had never been jealous of Julie’s voice. She’d been awed by it. It’s what had brought them together when they were little. They both loved music and so did their parents. But when Carrie had found out that Julie had a crush on Nick, it was like her whole world had screeched to a stop. One day she was sitting there with Julie and Flynn, giggling about who knows what, and Flynn had brought up how Julie had blushed when she’d seen Nick earlier. Julie had reddened again and had said, “So what if I have a crush on him? He’s cute.” And Carrie’s heart stuttered in her chest. She’d sat through the rest of that conversation with a fake smile plastered on her face, and then mumbled some lame excuse about why she had to go. 

Younger Carrie had only seen one path forward. Take Nick for herself. She knew it was awful to think of another human being like that, but Younger Carrie had felt the determination in her bones. She thought this would get her what she wanted. In the end, she’d ended up ruining her friendship with Flynn and Julie  _ and  _ wasting what could have been a great opportunity at a friendship with Nick. She and Nick did get along well. 

Carrie opened her google doc and scanned the page. It was her well-written apology. Being honest with herself was one thing Carrie struggled with quite a bit. She knew she felt guilty. 

_ As you should.  _

She’d been awful to Julie and Flynn. And there was only one way to make it right. But Carrie wasn’t ready to face them yet. To look them in the eyes and admit her horrible actions. She scanned the document again, feeling very tempted to just _ Ctrl A _ and then the  _ backspace  _ button. 

“Stop being immature, Carrie.” She growled at herself. “The worst that could happen is Julie and Flynn won’t forgive you. Or maybe they’ll laugh at you. And spread rumors about you.” Carrie spiraled. But she brought herself back. Julie wasn’t like that. 

Julie was the girl who used to not be able to sing. She was the girl who’d brought herself back from the edge of despair. She was the amazing musician with the hot bandmates. She was the incredible writer. She was the girl who couldn’t come up with comebacks. She was the girl who Carrie had been really close with, all those years ago. She wasn’t the type to be rude. 

“She’s not like you, Carrie.” Carrie muttered. She slammed her computer shut, not wanting to look at the document anymore or hear Julie’s voice filtering in through the headphones. Her dad looked over from his place on the couch, but said nothing. Carrie fled upstairs into her room. She crashed onto her bed, burying her face into the pillow. She groaned. She wanted to apologize - she did - but she was afraid of what would happen after. Would Julie laugh at her? Would  _ Flynn?  _ Would they think she was insane? Would they be her friends? Would they forgive her? Would things ever go back to the way they were before? 

Carrie could feel it in her heart, she knew things would never be the same.

. . . . .

“Alright, one more time,” Julie instructed the boys, playing the chords to their newest song, Up, while they worked on their parts. “No vocals.” She bobbed her head with the beat as they played the chords. 

“I like that!” Reggie remarked, grinning. Julie grinned back at him. 

“Yep, though I think maybe I should go a little higher with the chorus. I thought it would sound good but now that we played it I think higher is better. What do you guys think?” 

“Good idea!” Luke said enthusiastically. He joined her on the bench as she sang the chorus. He sang his part and she went up higher than she had before. She glanced at the other boys, who nodded their agreement. 

“Okay, so we’ll do _Bright_ , _Great_ , and _Up_ at the gig tomorrow night?” She clarified. 

“Yeah,” 

“Alright then let’s run through them one more time and then we’ll go on vocal rest until the sound check,” Julie sat back, stretching a little. She put her fingers on the keys of the piano and waited as Alex counted them off. 

Julie smiled as she sang, belting out the lyrics like there was no tomorrow. When it came to Luke’s part, she played a few extra chords that weren’t normally there, just for the fun of it. Luke shot her a smile and she could tell that he thought the chords fit. She sang louder when her part came up again, letting herself feel the joy of playing music again. The joy she’d missed for a whole year until the boys came into her life. 

They breezed through the other two songs, performing incredibly as usual. Julie pulled them in for a big hug at the end. She loved that she could feel them now. “Let me explain to my dad about the vocal rest before we actually do it.” She said. She left the studio, but could feel a pair of eyes boring into her back. 

Her dad was totally cool with the vocal rest and Julie made sure to eat the right things so that they wouldn’t mess with her voice. She flopped onto her bed and dug her homework out of her backpack. The guys knew that evenings were her “schoolwork” time, though that didn’t stop them from disturbing her. At least she would be able to pound through her work tonight since even if the boys came in, they weren’t allowed to speak. 

. . . . . 

Carrie was scrolling through her social media when she got the  _ ping  _ notification. She checked it, feeling excitement and dread fill her when she saw that it was from  _ Julie and the Phantoms.  _ She’d known about their upcoming gig for a while, but she just couldn’t bring herself to buy tickets. But in the post, Flynn, who was the manager, said that the tickets were nearly sold out. Carrie bit her bottom lip and then clicked the link to buy tickets. She bought just one, figuring the members of Dirty Candy wouldn’t want to go to their opponent’s gig. But Carrie felt as if she owed it to Julie to go. So she did. 

After school finished up, she went home and changed into a better outfit. It consisted of a fitted black shirt with black leggings. She didn’t want to be noticed and figured that if she wore dark colors and lurked in the back, no one on stage would see her. 

To say the performance was great would be an understatement. Julie and her band were incredible. Julie and the guitarist were making googly eyes at each other the whole time, though Julie did occasionally look out into the audience. For one second, during the last song, _Up_ she thought she locked eyes with Julie, but then Julie kept on dancing like nothing happened and Carrie let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She liked their newest song, though not as much as _Stand Tall_. For some reason, _Stand Tall_ had really stuck with her. Maybe it was the passion in Julie’s voice. The pain that was almost tangible in the beginning. The sound of loss. Maybe Carrie could relate to it. 

While Carrie had never really known her mother, the fact that her mom had just left had always stung. Julie hadn’t just been singing about her mom in that song either. Only an idiot could miss the way her face lit up with relief when her bandmates appeared on stage. Carrie didn’t trust that “hologram” act for one second, but what she saw on that stage had made her rethink every interaction she’d had with Julie since she’d grown apart from her. It made her feel. It made her face her feelings too, which she had been totally unprepared for. 

And now, here she was, standing outside of Julie’s studio, like an idiot. She could hear music inside, and hear Flynn cheering them on. Her fist loitered in the air, a few inches away from the door. She just couldn’t bring herself to knock. But then, she pictured Julie’s hurt face as Carrie snapped at her for the first time. She pictured Julie crying and running out of the class. She heard her own snarky remark and heard Flynn snarl at her. She took a deep breath, gathered her courage and knocked. 


	2. Close My Eyes and Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carrie apologizes to Julie and Flynn, and tells them why she was so awful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you like this chapter. Just so you know, I won't be posting everyday, but I had this chapter already written, and with some urging from my incredible friends, I decided to post it. Thank you to everyone who left kudos or a comment on the last chapter! Also, thank you to my friends who proofread this chapter and helped me reformat my entire document. They also told me that the title for Chapter One doesn't really fit with the title for Chapter Two since it's not lyrics from Bright, but it wouldn't really make sense if Chapter One were lyrics from Bright.

The knock at the door was loud. The band finished up their verse and then everyone peered quizzically at the door before Julie realized she should probably tell the person to come in. Luckily, Flynn was on it. 

“Come in.” Flynn called. The door stayed closed for a few more seconds before opening and revealing a person she was not expecting to see. Carrie Wilson. Flynn crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Carrie. “What are  _ you  _ doing here?” She made no attempt to hide her displeasure. But Flynn had told Julie something a few months ago, and Julie knew what Flynn was really feeling. 

Carrie’s eyes flicked between Julie, Flynn, and the boys. That’s when Julie realized. They shouldn’t be visible. She looked back at them for a moment before turning to face Carrie. She stood.

“What do you want, Carrie?” She asked, trying to keep her voice hard. She had mixed emotions about seeing Carrie here, in her studio, after all these years of her being a total butthead. 

Carrie gulped, her fingers wringing together like she was really stressed. Carrie pursed her lips before opening her mouth to speak. “I- I uh…” Was all she managed for a few moments. “Can we talk outside?” She asked, her eyes flicking nervously to the boys. Julie and Flynn looked at each other. They both understood that Carrie wanted to speak to both of them. Carrie stepped back, leaving room for Flynn and Julie to step out. Julie closed the door, ignoring the peeping faces of Luke, Alex, and Reggie. 

“Alright Carrie. What are you doing here? And why were you at our gig last night?” Julie demanded. Carrie paled.

“You… saw me?” She whispered. Julie nodded. Carrie looked down. “Okay…” She took a deep breath. “Well.... I… I came here to a-apologize.” She stuttered. 

_ “What?”  _ Julie and Flynn asked at the same time, making Carrie cringe. 

“Alright. I know I haven’t been super cool lately-” 

“And if by ‘super cool’ you mean you were being a jerk and by ‘lately’ you mean the past two years, then yes,” Flynn interrupted. Julie shot her a look but she merely shrugged. 

“But I really wanted to say that…'' Carrie continued after Flynn interrupted. She finally looked up at them. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry for everything I did and said. I don’t know how, or if, I can make it up to you. I know years of being a jerk and then one apology doesn’t mean much, but if there’s anything I can do to make it right, I’ll do it. If you tell me to go screaming through the streets in nothing but a bikini I’d do it.” She said with conviction, first looking Julie in the eyes and then Flynn, who’d cracked a smile at that last part. 

“If you told me to leave Dirty Candy I’d do that too. I’d do  _ anything  _ to make up what I did to you guys. I’m so sorry.” She repeated. She looked down nervously, clearly expecting a negative reaction. She looked absolutely stunned when she felt Julie wrap her arms around her and pull her in for a tight hug. She was even more surprised when Flynn joined, though she hadn’t missed that look Julie shot her before she did. 

They hugged for a long time, and when Julie pulled away she said, “Carrie, I won’t deny that what you said really hurt. Both of us. But if you care enough that you’ll come knocking on my door, that you’d run through the streets screaming with only a bikini on, that you’d leave Dirty Candy, that you care enough to  _ cry,”  _ Julie wiped one of Carrie’s tears away. “Then I think that means you’re being honest. I can’t speak for Flynn when I say this, but I’ll give you a second chance.”

Carrie’s smile made Julie know she did the right thing. She hugged Carrie again and when she pulled away, Flynn spoke. 

“I can give you a second chance too. If Jules can do it, then so can I. I probably wouldn’t though if she wasn’t ready. But if I see anything that makes me think you’ll hurt her again, I swear I’ll-” 

“Flynn.” Julie warned. Flynn clearly wanted to finish that sentence, but Carrie spoke up. 

“I promise you I won’t. I won’t take your kindness for granted.” She said. Julie smiled. 

“You know how that sentence ends.” Flynn said threateningly, before changing her tone. “Alright, but here’s what I want to know; Why  _ did  _ you start being mean to us in the first place? It felt like one day we were BFFs and the next day you were snapping at us.” Carrie looked down again. 

“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.” Julie told her. 

“No, no. I should.” Carrie said. “I owe it to you. But… well it’s not the best really.” 

“Whatever it is, I’m sure we can handle it.” Julie assured her. Carrie motioned for them to sit on the ground.

“Well it started that night when we were sleeping over here and you said you had a crush on Nick.” Carrie began.

. . . . .

“Actually it was kind of before that. The summer from seventh to eighth grade. I went to a music summer camp and when I came back, you and Flynn were really close. Whenever I texted you, you didn’t respond until late at night and you always said that you’d been out together and hadn’t seen the text. But when you finally invited me over, I was so happy. I came here feeling great, like we were finally going to bridge that small gap. But then you said you had a crush on Nick. I didn’t want to believe that you actually did.” She said. Flynn opened her mouth to ask something but then closed it again. She gestured for Carrie to continue. “When you said that, Julie, it was like my whole world just exploded. I don’t really know how to put it. I was shocked I guess. And scared. And it wasn’t because I liked Nick then. It was because… I knew that if you liked Nick, then you…” She trailed off and bit her lip. She was very hesitant to admit this, because she wasn’t sure what they would think. “Wouldn’t like me.” She finally finished with difficulty. Julie didn’t gasp, or flinch, or anything. She just listened. “So I was stupid back then and I thought that the only way for you to notice me was if I took Nick from you. So I asked him out on a date in Freshman year and when we went, it honestly felt like we would be better as friends. But I didn’t want to take back what I did. I didn’t want to tell him that. So I pretended.” Carrie didn’t look up at the other girls. She just plowed ahead. 

“And when your mom died that same year, I felt… awful. I felt like the worst person on the earth. I made it so that you couldn’t date Nick and then your mom died and you had to rely on Flynn so much. I wished I could have been there but I was too afraid to admit what I’d done. So I just dug the hole deeper. I started being awful to you. I let school and Dirty Candy rule my life and I forgot what it was like having friends. I started going down the wrong path.” Carrie paused. 

“So what changed?” Julie asked softly. Carrie looked up. 

“When I saw you and your hologram band for the first time, I was angry. I thought you’d stolen the spotlight from me. And as you guys got popular, I was starting to get even worse. But… I was at your Orpheum gig. My dad really wanted to go for some reason,” Julie and Flynn exchanged glances. “But when I saw you on that stage, singing with so much emotion, it was like it changed me. I was still afraid to do what needed to be done, but I knew I had to do it. Your song was filled with grief and I could tell it wasn’t just your mom you were singing to. I could see how relieved you were when your bandmates appeared on the stage. They were the “three special friends” you were talking about in your speech right? It seemed to me like you were talking like they were gone. And when they were there, you were so happy.”

“By the end of the song I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to make things right. So I wrote up this whole long apology that I was going to recite to you. But I realized that a scripted thing wasn’t as good as an apology that was genuine. So I threw it all away before I came here and decided to just… go with what my gut was telling me.” 

She took a breath. 

“That’s definitely a lot to take in.” Julie commented. Flynn stayed silent for a moment before asking, 

“So… you had a crush on Julie in eighth grade?” She asked. Carrie blushed.

“Yeah…” She admitted. “I did. I don’t know-”

“You don’t need to explain it.” Flynn told her. “But were you ever going to… come out?” She asked. “Sorry if that’s a weird question, I was just-” 

“No it’s fine.” Carrie told her, smiling at Flynn’s slightly reddened cheeks. “I wasn’t really sure of myself back then. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was real or not. I wasn’t sure if my dad would accept me either. We never actually talked about, well anything relating to that at all. But I don’t care what my dad thinks anymore. And I am sure about myself now.” 

This was the one part Carrie was just crossing her fingers for. She hoped that when she said it, it would feel right. She hoped that she knew what she was doing. 

“So… you like girls and boys?” Flynn asked. Carrie shook her head. 

“Just girls actually.” And just like that, Carrie knew. She knew this was who she was. She knew that she should be proud of who she was too. She felt as light as a feather, like a weight had been lifted off her chest. “I’m sick of boys.” She added, with a look at the studio, where she could see Julie’s bandmates peeking out. They immediately retreated from sight. 

Julie made a face. “I’m going to kill them for spying.” She said. “Hold on, let me go talk to them.” 

She sent Flynn a meaningful look, to which Flynn narrowed her eyes, before slipping into the studio, leaving Carrie and Flynn alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you all like it? I would love to hear your thoughts, and I welcome constructive criticism. Also I don't know why it's still showing the notes from the last chapter.


	3. Together I Think That We Can Make It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie talks to the guys, Julie, Flynn and Carrie get frozen yogurt, and Julie invites Carrie to her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, next chapter! Sorry this took so long to get out. I'm trying to stay a few chapters ahead in my writing but my creativity had abandoned me. Anyways, here's the new chapter, I really hope it doesn't suck.

“What was going on out there, Jules?” Luke asked curiously. 

“Carrie apologized.” Julie said, still a little shocked. “We told her we’d give her a second chance. And when she explained why she was so awful…” She didn’t finish, thinking that Carrie should choose who she wanted to tell. “I feel like it might sort of be my fault,” 

“How could it be your fault?” 

“I wasn’t paying attention to how she was feeling. If I had, I would have realized that something was off with her. But I didn’t notice until it was too late.”

“Well, as long as you don’t let that get in the way of your friendship now!” Reggie said. “I’m so excited that you’re finally going to be friends again!” Julie had told them about how close she, Flynn, and Carrie had been. They’d had sleepovers every weekend, they’d stayed late doing schoolwork at each other’s houses on school nights. They’d spent as much time together as possible, which just made Julie feel even worse for not noticing that Carrie was upset. They’d known each other so well, and yet when Carrie was feeling bad, Julie had completely missed it.

“Yeah,” She said, remembering why she came inside. She peeked out the window to see Carrie and Flynn talking quietly. 

“Do you  _ really  _ trust her?” Luke asked. 

“I don’t know. Carrie was  _ crying  _ out there. I’ve never seen her cry before, even when she talked about her mom. I think she’s being honest. And I don’t think what she said could be faked. She said it truthfully.” Luke nodded. 

“What did she say?” Reggie asked. Julie shook her head. 

“She just explained why she was mean to us. She has to be comfortable enough to tell you any details. It’s her choice if she wants to share it.” Julie watched Flynn and Carrie speak for another second before coming away from the window. She should just let them talk without worrying about people eavesdropping. 

“So are you going to tell her about us?” Alex asked. 

“It’s up to you. If you think I should wait, then I will. Also, I’m pretty sure she could see you. She looked right at you.” Julie said. “Are you guys becoming… more visible? First Flynn could see you earlier, and now Carrie can. That’s going to get problematic when my dad finds out. If he finds out that you guys live here, then, well he may not like it. And I can’t tell him because it’ll sound weird if I tell him “Hey Dad, guess what? I have three random weirdos living in Mom’s studio, but don’t freak out too much. They’re ghosts!” 

“I think you should wait a little before telling Carrie about us. I don’t want you to think you can trust her and then the truth about us gets out and it’s all over from there.” Alex said. Julie nodded. 

“Alright, I need to go back out to make sure Flynn doesn’t murder Carrie.” She said. Though she was sure Flynn would never do that, she wanted an excuse to go back out and see how things were doing. 

. . . . .

Julie rejoined them after a few minutes. Carrie and Flynn had been talking about how Carrie had realized she liked girls. Carrie wasn’t sure why Flynn was asking so much about it, but she was happy to answer. 

“Carrie, I’m really sorry that Flynn and I started leaving you out after that summer. I’m also sorry I didn’t notice that you were upset that night. I didn’t even realize.” Julie said, sitting down again. 

“It’s okay,” Carrie said. “I know it’s my fault because I was awful… I shouldn’t have been so rude to you. I shouldn’t have asked Nick out, especially if I knew you liked him. I wasn’t thinking about how that would make you feel. I was only thinking about myself, but what I did was stupid anyways.”

“Don’t worry,” Julie said. “It did hurt when you went out with Nick after I said I liked him, but… Nick and I are better as friends, I think. He actually asked me out a few weeks ago, but I said no.” 

“Why?” Carrie asked, smirking slightly. “Does it have anything to do with that super cute guy in your band? The one you always make googly eyes at?” 

“Hey!” Julie said, gently swatting at Carrie. 

“She’s right. You both do it at each other.” Flynn commented. “You guys just need to get it together. Just tell him about the song-” 

“Shhh!” Julie looked back at the studio. Luckily, the boys were not peeking, but that didn’t mean they weren’t trying to listen. 

“What’s this about a song?” Carrie asked, raising her eyebrows. Julie rolled her eyes and didn’t answer. 

“She wrote Luke a love song.” Flynn answered in a whisper. Julie shushed her again with a glare. Carrie grinned. “Wait, you don’t still have a crush on Julie right?” Flynn asked. Carrie’s snickered. 

“No, I don’t think so.” She said. 

_ Come on. You know. Tell her.  _ One part of Carrie said in her head. 

_ No. You know how that will end. Just don’t mention it. There’s no way she would feel the same.  _ The other part retorted.

Carrie met Flynn’s eyes for half a second and then looked away. Julie was looking behind her to make sure her bandmates weren’t there. 

“How about we go out for frozen yogurt that way we don’t have to worry about the guys listening.” She said loudly, and pointedly. If they were listening, they definitely got the message. Carrie nodded. They stood, and Julie sent one last look at the studio before leaving her driveway with Carrie and Flynn beside her. 

Carrie noticed Julie was quiet as they walked, but she focused on her conversation with Flynn for the moment. 

“So why did you stop liking Julie?” Flynn asked her. Carrie shrugged. 

“I realized I liked someone else,” She said vaguely. She should have known. 

“Who do you like?” 

_ Carrie you idiot.  _

She blushed and said dumbly, “I- uh, would rather not say. Sorry.” Flynn just nodded. 

_ Why, Carrie? God, this is embarrassing.  _

When they arrived at the frozen yogurt place, Carrie pulled out a credit card, demanding that she be the one to pay. Julie and Flynn protested but Carrie wouldn’t budge. Julie filled hers with a mix of chocolate and strawberry. Flynn poured a mixture of at least seven flavors into hers, putting loads of toppings on. Carrie just went with a simple vanilla with a few little cookies as toppings. As she did, she thought about her conversations with Flynn. It was like Flynn wanted to know every detail about when Carrie knew she liked girls. 

_ Does that mean-  _

Carrie shut down that thought. 

_ There’s no way Flynn would  _ ever  _ like you like that, even if she  _ did  _ in fact, like girls.  _ She told herself. She sat down at the table with Julie, after paying. They waited for Flynn to fill the little water cups she’d insisted on getting since frozen yogurt made her thirsty. 

“Is it weird knowing I had a crush on you in eighth grade?” Carrie asked Julie. Julie shrugged. 

“It’s a little weird. But I know that weirdness comes with this whole thing. I’m just regretting shutting you out after that summer.” She said. “But I know that this is a second chance for all of us,” She nodded her thanks to Flynn as she handed her a cup of water. She’d expertly balanced three cups on her arm and had walked over to them from the water fountain. She put the cups down and slid into a chair. Now they were all facing each other and there was a moment of awkward silence. Carrie could see Julie watching Flynn, and though she knew Julie was trying to hide it, there was something she knew and wasn’t saying. Carrie didn’t let herself feel bitter at that. This was the first day- the first hour of their rekindled friendship. She wasn’t going to let a silly secret get in the way of that. 

. . . . .

Luke sat on  _ his  _ couch with his songbook open, furiously scribbling lyrics down. Only he could read his handwriting, which he was thankful for in this moment. Alex and Reggie were next to him, leaning over and looking. 

“Dude, you should just tell her,” Alex said. Luke’s head shot up. 

“What?” His voice cracked. How had he known he was writing about Julie? Alex rolled his eyes. 

“You couldn’t be more obvious.” Reggie put in. “You only work on that song when Julie isn’t here, and that looks a lot like a love song.” 

“You can read this?” Luke asked, turning his head to look at Reggie, who looked ashamed. 

“We may have exaggerated how bad we thought your handwriting was.” Alex said. Luke leaned back against the couch with a sigh. He let his head bounce a few times. 

“Okay, so maybe I do like her,” He said. “So what? You’ve all liked people before! Alex, you clearly like Willie and Reg, you always flirted with girls before we died. It makes no difference that  _ I  _ like someone this time. None of us teased you guys about who you liked!”

“It’s different this time,” Alex said. 

“Why?” Luke demanded. 

“Because you, Luke, haven’t really had the time to like people. You were always so invested in your music that you didn’t even think about that.” 

“I kissed-” Luke began. 

“That was to help me figure myself out though, remember?” Alex said. “And sure, we dated for a couple weeks, but that wasn’t really meant to be. Plus that was in our life, now, we’re here as ghosts and  _ you  _ have a crush on a lifer.” 

“And even though we can touch now, I’ll always be a ghost and she won’t be.” Luke finished. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

“That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say you could  _ try  _ but you can’t try if you never actually tell her.” Alex said. 

“I don’t think she feels the same way. She likes that Nick dude,” Luke said. Reggie snorted. 

“Dude, you’re oblivious. You guys make heart eyes at each other every time you sing,” Luke glared at him. “It’s true. She obviously likes you and you’re just too blind. I mean during our  _ Finally Free  _ performance, you guys literally said “I got a spark in me, and you’re a part of me, now till eternity” at each other. Then during  _ Edge of Great,  _ you sang so close to her at the end and that part when she was on the piano, she smiled at you and it totally said “I’m in love with you Luke Patterson,” Reggie made his voice go up high. “And…” He trailed off before continuing. “I know Caleb was holding onto you tighter than us, which is why we were able to get away after the song ended and they started the next one. We know you took the most of the magicky stuff so that we could get away.” 

Luke looked down. He could still feel the pain from teleporting to Julie. The feeling that every part of his body was being ripped apart. He never would have made it if he hadn’t locked eyes with Julie. He could see her pain too, and he knew he had to try harder. For her. 

“We saw the way you looked at Julie as you were flickering. It was like she was the only thing tethering you to the earth.” Reggie said softly, putting his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “When you poofed onto the stage, she was so relieved. And we saw the looks on your faces when you shared the mic. Dude, there’s no way Julie doesn’t like you.” 

“There’s no way to know for sure.” Luke said. 

“Unless she confesses her love for you,” Alex replied dramatically. More seriously, he added, “I heard her and Flynn talking one time. I think she wrote a song for you or something. So get to finishing that one, quit trying to hide your crush from us, and just tell her!” Alex said. Luke bit his lip. He would finish the song, but he wasn’t as sure about Julie as Alex and Reggie seemed to be. 

“Do you need us to pile on more proof? She took that song to your parents-” Alex said.

“She was helping a friend.” 

“She was totally giving you heart eyes at the gig last night.” Reggie added. 

“But what if she’s only doing that on stage?” Alex and Reggie exchanged glances then burst out laughing. “What?”

“You’re an idiot.” Reggie said, though not unkindly. “Just tell her. Play the song for her and tell her. I promise you, it will end up well. You’ll be laughing at your stupidity in a few weeks if you just  _ do it.”  _

“Reggie, we’ve only known Julie for a few months! What if she thinks I’m one of those-” 

“That’s not going to happen. Now we’ll be quiet, just finish the song and show it to her after she gets back.” Alex said. “We’ll even poof away so it can just be you guys.” 

“Wai-” Luke started. 

“Actually you should wait until Carrie and Flynn leave. Wouldn’t want them to be there for  _ that  _ conversation.” Reggie said with what could only be described as a giggle. 

“Stop! I don’t know if I want to show her the song  _ today.  _ I mean the song isn’t done yet and I don’t know if it will be today. Besides…” 

“You need time to work through your insecurities?” Reggie offered helpfully. Luke shot a glare at him. “Okay, okay, we’ll go. Come on Alex, let’s leave Luke to work through his stuff. Wanna go find Willie?” Reggie asked. Alex blushed and Reggie laughed. 

“How about  _ you  _ go find Kayla?” Alex challenged. It was Reggie’s turn to blush and Alex’s to laugh. They poofed away, leaving Luke alone in the studio with only his lyrics. 

. . . . .

Julie, Carrie, and Flynn talked a little at the frozen yogurt place, talking about all their memories from when they were younger. Carrie shared some of her lyrics for songs and Julie offered advice. Julie didn’t mention the song for Luke again, and Carrie didn’t bring it up. She was feeling confident with her new song and couldn’t wait to show it to the rest of Dirty Candy. She had an idea for how she wanted the dance to go and she wanted to see if the girls would want to choreograph their own dance this time. 

Julie showed Carrie a song she had been working on with Luke, and Carrie was definitely impressed. They hadn’t picked a name yet, but it was incredible. Julie had smiled shyly when Carrie complimented her. 

Carrie walked with them back to Julie’s house, before walking home. It was a long walk, and she could have called her dad, but she chose not to. It took her about an hour and a half to get home and her feet were sore, but she was happy. She was finally on good terms with Julie and Flynn! She was so relieved that they hadn’t laughed or run away screaming when she told them she’d had a crush on Julie. And she couldn’t stop thinking about Flynn’s prying questions. She wondered if Flynn liked girls too, but she didn’t want to ask. She didn’t want to mess up their newly-repaired friendship with a question Flynn didn’t feel comfortable asking.

Flynn clearly didn’t have the same reservations, since she’d bluntly asked Carrie who she had a crush on. Carrie couldn’t say, “You,” when she wasn’t sure if Flynn was one hundred percent okay with her or that she even liked girls. 

“Where have you been?” Her dad asked curiously. Carrie looked over at him as she closed the front door. He was sitting at the kitchen counter in the seat beside her black and pink computer. 

“I went to see Julie and Flynn.” Carrie said. Her dad flinched, so slightly Carrie would have missed it if she hadn’t been paying attention. But she was paying attention because her dad had been super awkward about Julie and her band. He’d looked like he was seeing ghosts when he watched Julie perform with her “Hologram” band in the video. Then they’d gone to the Orpheum and he hadn’t muttered a single word for the rest of the night. 

“Why?” He stood up from the seat at the kitchen counter and went around into the kitchen. He poured a glass of water and gulped it down quickly. Carrie narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything. 

“I went to apologize for being awful to them.” She said. Her dad nodded. He knew Carrie had started to hate Julie and Flynn when they started high school. He didn’t know why though, and it always made him sad. Carrie knew this, but she hadn’t wanted to be friends with Julie because she hadn’t wanted to admit what she’d done. 

“Did it go well?” Her dad asked. Carrie nodded, realizing this was probably their longest conversation since the Orpheum. 

“It did. I think we’re friends again. I told them why I was so mean to them and they forgave me after I apologized. Then we went out for frozen yogurt and Julie showed me one of her songs, one she wrote with her guitarist.” Her dad paled slightly. “And I showed her one of mine, the one I want to choreograph myself.” She said. 

“You’re going to choreograph a dance?” Her dad asked. That stung. She’d been working on the song for at least a week and had even tried out the dance moves  _ while her dad was in the room.  _ She’d also blasted the recording quite loudly, so she nailed down each move correctly. 

“Yeah,” She bit her lip. “I told you about it last week. Don’t you remember?” 

“I do now!” Her dad assured her, in a comforting tone that wasn’t quite believable. “I’ve just had a lot going on. It slipped my mind.” He said with a smile. Carrie smiled back, but it wasn’t sincere. She didn’t like being forgotten like that, and sometimes it felt like her dad didn’t care. 

“Well I’m going to go do some homework,” She said stiffly. If her dad noticed her tone, he didn’t comment on it. She sped upstairs and began her homework. She sat at her desk, silently working through the pages and trying not to think too much about her dad’s weird behavior. 

Hours later, Julie called her. Carrie responded immediately. “Hey,” She said as a greeting. Julie was sitting in her room, her head against one of her pillows. 

“Hi! I just wanted to-” She cut off, picked up a pillow and threw it. She muted and said something that looked like “Get out of my room!” Then she unmuted and said, “Sorry, my  _ annoying  _ bandmates were in my room,  _ again,”  _ She said with a fond eye roll. 

Carrie frowned slightly. “It’s ten o’clock. Are they going to go home or do they just live at your house?” She meant it as a joke, but Julie was a little too quick with her response. 

“No, no! Of course they go home. They only stay over on weekends. But they usually stay pretty late.” Carrie nodded. “ _ Anyways,  _ I wanted to ask you if you’d like to come to our practice tomorrow. Flynn already comes everyday and I figured since we were getting the band back together, then you should come to the practices. And we’ll go to yours too! I mean, if you’re okay with that,” 

“Yeah, I’d love to go!” Julie’s comment about “getting the band back together” made her feel weird. It had been at the end of seventh grade when Flynn had given Julie the “Double Trouble” tee shirt. Carrie had felt a little left out then too. “I don’t have practice with the girls until later tomorrow so as long as I get out of there in time for seven, then I’ll be fine. And you could totally come to our practices, I’m sure the girls would like some outside opinions. My dad won’t care either because he’s going away to record a new album or something tomorrow.” Her dad  _ had  _ told her about that - through a note on her lunch bag this morning. 

Julie nodded. “Sometimes our practices go to seven or eight, but we can cut it short tomorrow so we, me and Flynn, that is, can go to yours,”

“Your bandmates could come too, if they wanted to,” Carrie offered. Julie shrugged. 

“I don’t know if that’s the… best idea. They’re pretty chaotic-” 

“Hey!” A familiar voice shouted, presumably from the other side of Julie’s door. Carrie smiled at that. 

“You can hear them?” Julie asked. Carrie nodded and Julie sighed. She looked a little uncomfortable though. “Guess I should probably let you get to bed. And tell the boys to go home.” 

“I guess, though I usually stay up pretty late, so it’s fine with me to be up this late.” Carrie said with a shrug. Julie smiled. 

“Alright! I actually had a question, or well a couple. When did you form Dirty Candy and how did you meet the girls?” Carrie resettled herself on her bed and opened her mouth to tell the Dirty Candy story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like I said earlier, I hope that didn't suck. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, and any constructive criticism as well. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you all think? I'd love to hear your thoughts and I will welcome any constructive criticism.


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